John Wick (2014)

Rating: 6/10 (Not really shit at all).

 

Synopsis:

They broke into John Wick’s house, beat him up and stole his car.  But none of that really matters because they killed his puppy – and that means they gotta die.

 

MPAA Rating:

Rated R for violence, bloodiness and death.  Seriously, the body count is literally a billion!

 

Plot:
I shall call you ... Keanu
I shall call you … Keanu

John Wick (Keanu Reeves) is a man with few things in life – his giant mansion of a house, his classic Mustang and his beagle puppy.  He did have a wife up until three days ago but she went and died on him.  Seemingly spending his days rallying around a disused airport while playing chicken with some heavy machinery, it’s pretty clear he’s an unhappy camper.  But he’s got his puppy and ya can’t help but smile when you’re playing with a puppy?

 

 

 

 

Angry Keanu
Angry Keanu

Oh no, some Russian lads take a shine to John’s car and follow him home.  After beating him up and stealing his car keys, the ruskies decide to take it too far and cruelly kill his dog in front of him! John does what any sane and rational person would in that situation and digs out his handguns and dedicates his existence to hunting these fuckers down and giving them what for.  Only natural response really, if anything happened to my dog there wouldn’t be a Russian safe in a 100 mile radius!

 

 

 

 

It's not a movie without Lovejoy!
It’s not a movie without Lovejoy!

Turns out that John Wick’s really good at killing people and until his retirement years before was a contract killer for some bad guys including… yep, the dog murderer’s dad!  Dad finds out and tries to appease John but John wants blood so an all out war breaks out between the Russian’s army of goons and Wick on his lonesome.  I know who my moneys on!

 

 

 

 

 

Pros:
  • Knows what it is and goes for it with gusto
  • It’s got Lovejoy in it! 🙂

 

Cons:
  • Pretty standard revenge movie (except he’s avenging a dog)
  • Needlessly graphic
  • Keanu Reeve’s Taken (not necessarily a good thing)

 

Verdict:

Straight forward, no bullshit, revenge-action movie.  This one didn’t bother waiting until Oscar season before releasing itself on the world and I doubt they submitted it to Cannes for review either.  That said, if you’re in the mood for Keanu Reeves marching around, beating the head off Alfie Allen and a load of Eastern Europeans then it’s like this movie is tailor made for you! Honestly, this movie is a 3/4 out of 10 but I’m giving extra points for not trying to be something it’s not

6/10

Movie Cricket

Stupid movies make me mad >:(

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