Rating
Synopsis
Adam Driver is a spaceman who crash lands on earth during the cretaceous period. Now he must find a way off the planet with the only other survivor – a young girl named Koa, before they get pasted by an ignorant dinosaur or a wayward meteor
MPAA Rating
PG-13 for perilous scenes, giant CGI teeth and the kind of broodiness only an Adam Driver can provide
Plot
Mills (Driver) is an alien – I don’t mean like he overstayed his holiday visa, he’s actually from another planet, like E.T. That is, if E.T. was 6ft 3, had a stallion’s mane for hair and a look that could turn your knees to jelly. But anyway, he lives on the planet Somaris with his wife and teenage daughter. His daughter is sick and he agrees to take a job piloting a spaceship so they can pay for treatment. You’d think his daughter’d be grateful about that but kids these days!
He’s almost finished the job when a dirty space rock smashes into his spaceship and he’s forced to crash it onto a mysterious, unknown planet – unknown to him that is, we know exactly what planet it is ’cause it was in the trailer, Earth. But it turns out it’s not now times, it’s then times, sixty something million years ago and Earth is still populated with toothy, scaly type creatures that for legal reasons can’t (or shouldn’t) be referred to as dinosaurs.
Mills thinks he’s all alone and there’s no hope but then he discovers one of the passengers survived the crash, a young girl named Koa (Ariana Greenblatt), so, he’s not alone and there is hope – as long as he’s got his instincts, muscles and mega gun intact
Koa doesn’t speak Somarian (?) and Mills doesn’t speak …. not Somarian I guess, but sure how hard can it be to pick up a new language in a crisis situation? Not very hard I (and they) think
Can Mills and Koa survive long enough for a rescue mission to arrive? Will they take matters into their own hands, get off the planet and show that dirty space rock who’s boss, Bruce Willis style? Who knows! I mean… I know ’cause I watched it
Pros
- Adam Driver vs dinosaurs – what’s not to like… see Cons section
- Only 1hr 33min off my life
Cons
- Adam Driver shooting dinosaurs turned out to be a bit boring
- Story is pretty basic and clichéd
- Acting is a bit hammy at times
- Very one dimensional
Verdict
I have to say I’m disappointed about this one. It had a lot going for it – space, Adam Driver, dinosaurs. With Woods and Beck at the helm I at least expected something unusual in the story to grab my interest and make me think, and there were some unusual elements that did make me think, just not in the way they would have liked.
First off I had trouble with the alien race that look like humans, talk like humans and dress like humans, only they’re a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. At least give them pointy ears or ridgy brows to help us suspend our disbelief!
Then there’s the dinosaurs – the premise is that Mills crashes on Earth 65 million years ago and has to fight a bunch of dinos, but what he ends up facing are mostly CGI monstersauruses. Not really exciting, not really terrifying, just a bit meh. I know I probably shouldn’t be getting all hung up on whether or not dinosaurs are accurately portrayed in a movie about a humanoid space alien crashing into earth, but I am. That’s just how it is
The characters are all a bit one dimensional and I feel a bit sorry for Driver and Greenblatt as they are giving it a good go but the material is just not there to work with.
Maybe started as a good idea flopping out of someones mouth hole but unfortunately never got developed to its full blown potential, and what we’re left with is a pretty forgettable affair. 4/10